This morning, I dropped a screaming, sobbing, blonde ball of fury off at daycare.
Yesterday was the same.
I think that one of the hardest things I've ever done (and I've done it often) has been to walk out and leave my child when she is crying and reaching for me.
All three of my girls have done it at one time or another. I can't say that I blame them either - I know I wouldn't have enjoyed being schlepped off somewhere else every day when I was little.
But that doesn't make it any easier to be the one to turn around and walk out the door while my heart is breaking. Even thinking ahead to the joy that she'll greet me with when I return doesn't always help at this moment.
My head knows that she would have stopped crying within minutes after I left - that's what happened yesterday - and that she'll play, perfectly content, all day long. I know that our daycare provider loves her as if she were part of her family and that Becca is happy there and loves to play with her friends and with her sisters, when they arrive after school. I do know all of this. And 99% of the time I drop off a smiling little one, ready to keep busy all day long.
It's the other 1% I've been faced with so far this week that gets to me though. The arms clinging to my neck as we attempt to pry her away. The look of accusation that she shoots at me through her tears as I turn to leave.
I don't know why she's suddenly so attached - she cried for Ron as we left the house this morning too. She's been swinging between an independent, determined, my-way-or-the-highway attitude that's incredibly frustrating for us, and this clingy little girl who only wanted to eat breakfast this morning if she could sit on my lap to do so. I know she's tired - she's been trying to give up her naps despite most of our attempts to get her to sleep during the days. She needs the naps still. Obviously.
I fear that this is a preview of what's ahead as our most difficult, stubborn child enters the 'terrible' two's...
At this point, I'm not sure that that I'm going to make it through until she turns three. :)